june 15

june 10

I love this next sequence. I was trying to get Will to smile. Katy came up and started making farting noises ....to which his response was received!

june 8

month one

Month one: Here you are. I can't believe it sometimes because it seemed like we had to wait a lifetime some days, 9 short months were well worth it though. You are all sorts of awesome!

Will -

This month we've been trying to squeeze every second out of every minute trying to snuggle with you or stare at you. Katy is totally smitten, as are the rest of us.

The first night we brought you home, I felt good about what I was doing. Dad, of course, wanted to help as much as possible...but with me nursing there wasn't much he could do. I told him to take it easy and try to sleep. That was hard to do though because Q (who was sleeping in a kennel in the closet) would freak out and whine every time you would make a peep. I joked with him the next day and said that if you had to be out of our bedroom in one month (Dad's deadline for getting kidos in their own room), then Q would have to go sleep in the garage or basement in one month too!!!! It was interesting sleeping arraignments for a bit there but you are now in your room and Q is in the basement.

I've just been trying to get into a routine with two kids....which I am still working on. Since you are not sleeping through the night quite yet I am usually pretty tired during the day and my ambitions to get "projects" done are filled with us trying to take a rest or feeling exhausted. You do have great nights where you only get up once, you even had one night where you slept from 9:15 pm - 6:00 am!!!

Generally you are a great baby. The first month you have proven to be very mellow; eat, poop, sleep. You like to be where the action is, and you are a morning person. Even if you are not hungry you cry in the morning until we bring you down the stairs with us, just to hang out! I'm also amazed at your strength. It seems like you were lifting your head up from day one. And last but not least....your hair line is ever shrinking. You are rocking a killer mullet right now!

We love you so much XOXO

june 5

announcing

Sorry we went the cheap route this time....here is Will's announcement. 

He is still all sorts of awesome!

the better part of me

I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but it's always hard for me to put into words how I feel about being a mom. I think mothers day is a good day to reflect on this for me. 

Believe it or not, I was a full fledged tom boy growing up. I wasn't into boys (until later of course *wink*), I didn't like to wear dresses, I didn't' want my ears pierced, I didn't spend all my extra time planning my dream wedding to my dream guy. Basically I'd rather be doing anything other than being "girly." You'd think for a kid like that, having kids would be the farthest thing from my mind...but it wasn't. I didn't spend all my time thinking about my future kidos, but I did know for certain that I wanted to be a mom. 

Fast forward a few years to when I met Steve. I knew I wanted to marry him, and I knew after we got married that I wanted to have kids....but I was scared. I was the person who always knew how to make your kid cry. Just pass them to me and away they would go. I always joked that, just as dogs can sense the goodness in people, babies could sense the goodness in future moms....which is why they cried because I would have no idea what I was doing, should I ever be given the chance. Scared. Would I make my own kids cry when I held them? Would I be able to be everything they needed?

We waited for 5 years to have Katy, but all that time they were still in the back of my mind. I always admired moms, but I was still scared to be one. I guess I just knew that I wasn't ready. And not that I didn't respect those who chose to be moms and stay home with their kids...but I wanted "more". I wanted to make sure that I had my collage degree, possibly a masters. That seemed like it would make me the person I wanted to be....well educated, making a difference in the world. So I went to school, forever it seemed. And I competed post graduate work hoping to apply to get my masters. I wanted to work with children and families who were going through what my family went through. I felt that I could really relate to kids in certain situations, that I could make that difference I was talking about. After graduation I was offered a job by my internship. It would have been an amazing opportunity that could have opened many doors...but I realized that working in the field I had chosen was a rough road. It was emotionally draining to work with addicts. I had not been given the opportunity, yet, to work with families and children (something a masters would have provided). 

I was burned out....working full time, going to school and an internship. Most nights I would just want to come home and cry because I had not had a minute of "me" time all day leaving at 5:00 am and getting home at 10:00 pm. I decided that although my time in my program was well worth my time and effort, I was glad when it was finally over....but I still wanted something more. 

After I graduated from my post graduate program the feeling to have kids was more in the forefront of my mind...and it seemed to be gaining speed rapidly. Would this be the "something more" I needed in my life. Was this what a ticking biological clock felt like? There was no doubt that I was ready to have kids. So we talked about it, made sure we were on the same page, approached it logically, prayed about it. We both decided that there wasn't any reason not to have them....so we decided we'd give it a try. 

Now I was not scared of being a mother, I was scared about if I could be a mother. You never know if you'll be able to get pregnant until you try. I worried and wondered if waiting so long would lessen my chances. Would being on birth control for 4+ years affect anything? For us, we were blessed to be able to get pregnant and have beautiful Katy one month shy of our 5 year anniversary...just like we always joked we were on the 5 year plan. 

Flash forward to this year and adding another one in the mix, Mister.....we are full fledged parents at this point. We may even think that we actually know what we are doing!

My kids don't cry when I hold them (usually *wink), and we are both working every day to be everything that they need. Just as I was exhausted going from 5:00 am to 10:00 pm...I am exhausted going 24 hours a day with these two. I don't always get the "me" time I feel like I need. I'm still getting used to having two kids and getting up for random nightly feedings. They are absolutely the "more" I was yearning for. I am so blessed to be married to someone I love with everything that I have, for the relationship that we had and were able to build on. I am so blessed that Steve works so hard to provide for our family so I can stay home with my kids. I have such a different admiration for those who chose to stay home. Things are not always easy, but they are always worth it...and I wouldn't change a thing. Becoming a mom is more that I ever imagined it could be because making a difference in my own children's lives is absolutely priceless. Emotionally draining days are defiantly going to be in the cards for me some days, but don't think I could ever get burned out doing something that I love with all that I am. 

I can't wait to see where this next year takes me in my journey as a mom....thank you and Happy Mothers Day to my mom, my mother in law, my grandmothers and aunts, my sister and all others with a desire to become a mom for your example to me. 

June 2

she didn't hold on to it long and put her hand right up in front of her face as I was taking the picture!

summer snow cone season is upon us....I can't tell you how happy this makes me feel!

I'm honestly not sure how to get her to stop licking those lips sometimes...especially when her nose has been running non stop. I'm thinking allergies?

Katy was finishing up her "stupid food" dinner I made for the both of us while Steve was at work. I was done and working on dishes and heard her keep saying "abra cadabra" over and over. She then informed me that it was not working. I asked her what she was trying to do. She said, "Mom, I want to be a magician but I can't get these raisins to disappear!"

An annual tradition

She thinks it is so funny to try to fit or sit in baby brothers things. She has been especially smitten with the bumbo chair lately!

I try not to overdo it with the pictures, but sometimes I can't help it. She was not having it today though. I think she gets that from her dad!

This is what Katy looked like after she insisted dad go through the river multiple times....FAST on the 4wheeler! I think she has passed the test and is officially a Beardshall!